The Thin Line Between Holding On & Letting Go

I have noticed that I can care for people and go all the way, but at the same time I tend to give up on people pretty easily. Especially when they treat me the way I would not treat them… very ironic! I do understand that there is a certain amount of vulnerability needed to connect with people, but pushing back against it is my defence against hurt. So I constantly find myself two- stepping to this dance of holding on and letting go.

One of most difficult places to be in life is making a decision between holding on and letting go and it is the tug of war between them that leads to suffering. Thanks to BellaNaija, I have a little insight about Tuface’s and Annie’s love story. Tad complicated, but I find it interesting. I think her resilience is somewhat courageous but on the other hand, I cannot wrap my head around holding on to something that hurts so much. Which brings me to the question when exactly does one draw the line between holding on and letting go, to have a little more faith or give up? Another classic example is the plot of THE GREAT GATSBY. When love is involved, the distinction becomes somewhat blurry. It becomes very easy to have faith… but, what if letting them go is all the deliverance you need.

A few months ago, I watched a Nollywood movie which had a woman lamenting to her aunt about her marital ordeal. Her husband was cheating on her with the help and to worsen the situation, the help was pregnant neither would the man agree to send her packing. Her aunt simply told her that it is a ‘spiritual attack’ and she needs to keep fasting and praying to get her husband back. I found this response extremely amusing, and then I remembered that it is the way of life for most Nigerians. This brings me to the issue of infidelity and domestic violence in marriages which are very common amongst us. Why do women stay in relationships/marriages that are emotionally draining?? Especially in cases of infidelity, it is not about forgiveness but the lack of trust and feeling of betrayal that exist afterwards.

How does a relationship thrive without trust? The cracks are always visible.
If you have ever been on either end of the spectrum share your story… Did you hold on, and it worked in your favor or did you let go and it became your redemption?

Since October is the national domestic violence awareness month, I have included an inspiring TED video on domestic violence. It is worth watching.

Busola Adedire